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So much has happened since my last post. For one thing, I have a plane ticket. Last Thursday was my last of three pre-departure meetings with the Notre Dame Office of International Studies. I've had a couple more medical clearances, and I'm turning in my last (hopefully) piece of paperwork tomorrow. I'm in the process of applying for a visa. Heck, I've even started to think about how I will be packing up my dorm room.
It's been a very interesting semester. I like the word "interesting." In itself it is certainly "interesting" indeed because upon initial inspection, it seems to hold neither positive nor negative connotation and leaves much to the imagination. It's a frequented filler word that I tend to use when I honestly just don't really know what else to say. Interesting...
I had a couple of interviews for international summer service programs last Sunday. It's so strange to think that by the time summer rolls around, my Ugandan adventure will already be over. It's even stranger to think about how truly important it is to still be to be fully engaged with everything going on here and now without fumbling obligations to prepare for next semester, next summer, and next year. Thinking about jobs, internships, service, research projects, applications, exams, the beast that is senior year, living arrangements, money, endless papers, while still getting enough sleep every night is a tricky balance, but I guess that's part of what college is all about; a clever discernment to discover the balance of learning inside and outside the classroom. Yet, I don't mean this to sound like a complaint. I don't feel stressed, just rushed and a bit melancholy. I feel like time is slipping away from me sometimes.
Thoughts about college experiences are on a rather confusing polar spectrum. It's really easy to dramatize daily stresses. Yet, it is also very common to trivialize the emotions and experiences of college. I've certainly been gulilty of both. It's an odd thing. We want to learn, but with so many classes and responsibilities, we usually cannot give each class the attention we would like to. We're here to "work" but we or (for many of us) our parents are paying an incredible amount of money to be here, so there's a certain pressure get good grades. We have dreams, but for many of us, we know that we can never have our true "dream jobs." We're at a strange liminal period betwixt and between childhood and adulthood; we're treated like adults by the law and certain authorities, but yet we still depend on our parents financially and for countless other things.
It seems like so much of college is spent preparing, looking to the future. I wish it weren't so difficult to appreciate the present. I think this is one of the things I'm most looking forward to in Uganda: achieving a simple appreciation for the present. So simple, yet so powerful.
til next time.
